Forgive Us As We Forgive Others

as he speaks. And, Lord, would you glorify your name and edify your saints? We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Good morning. This morning on the way in. Somebody came, one of my friends came in the back and picked up a bulletin and he saw my name. So he came down and he found me and he said, Ethan, I saw you preaching today. He said, are you nervous? Is this your first time? And I said, honestly, no, I've been nervous lots of times. But no, I am grateful for the opportunity to be here today. So I'm grateful for the elders for that opportunity. Turn with me to Matthew chapter 18, starting in verse 21. Today we're going to talk about something that's at the very heart of the gospel, namely forgiveness. How do we define forgiveness? What is the Christian do to forgive. Can you forgive if there hasn't been repentance? Can you? We know and we're very familiar with what it says in Ephesians 1-7. In him, we have redemption through his blood,

very familiar with what it says in Ephesians 1-7. In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of his grace. Forgiveness of our sins through the blood of Christ is the basis for the Christian hope. We have all sinned against the holy, eternal, and infinite God, and our debt is an infinite one. that will take us all of eternity to pay back, or put another way, we deserve God's wrath to be poured out on us in hell forever because of our sins. That is our debt. It's not possible to be in any further debt than every human is. We know that's the bad news, but there's good news, but God. Ephesians 2.4 says, but God, being rich in mercy because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in her trespasses, made us alive to together with Christ, by grace you have been saved. Each and every Lord's day, we sing together the Lord's prayer at the end of the sermon, just as we will today. In it, we say, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Every school day, the students of St. Brendan's end chapel and begin the school day with the same prayer. Some translations of the prayer say, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. We all ask God on a daily basis,

and begin the school day with the same prayer. Some translations of the prayer say, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. We all ask God on a daily basis, to treat us as we treat others, or at least how we're supposed to treat others. Today in Matthew 18, we look at a parable about a man who did not forgive as he had been forgiven. This parable serves as a warning toward us when our heart disposition is not one of forgiveness towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. Let's begin reading in chapter 18, verse 21. This is the Word of the Living God. Then Peter came up and said to him, Jesus, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he could not pay, the master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children and everything that he had, and everything that he had, payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience on me, and I will pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the master of the servant, released him and forgave him the debt. But when the same servant went out and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him a hundred

and I will pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the master of the servant, released him and forgave him the debt. But when the same servant went out and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him a hundred denari, seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, pay what you owe. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me, and I will pay you. He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed. And they went and reported to the master all that had taken place. Then the master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in anger, the master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So also, my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Thus ends the reading of God's holy word, may he write it on our hearts by faith. Thanks to you all. Let's pray. Lord God, you are a great God and a good father. You are slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. You are working all things together for your glory and for our good. We pray this day and every day that you would forgive our sins and cleanse us of all in righteousness. And because you loved us first and chose us in Christ, we pray we would love

came to him and said to him, why do you speak to them in parables? He answered them, to you, it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is why I speak to them in parables. because seeing they do not see and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. But blessed are your eyes for they see and your ears for they hear. For truly I say to you, many prophets and righteous people long to see what you see and did not see it. And to hear what you hear and did not hear it. So besides hiding the truth in plain sight, parables and analogies are effective rhetorical devices to help the hearer understand and internalize the lesson. From today's text, Jesus tells us about the first servant who owed the master 10,000 talents. A talent is equal to about 6,000 denari. One denarius was the daily wage for a manual laborer. So you work for a day, you earn a denarius. And 6,000 of them was one talent. So one denarius worked out to be the labor for about 20 years. That's a single talent. This guy owed 10,000 of them. So, in terms of accounting, this guy could have worked for the next 200,000 years and still be in the red.

So, in terms of accounting, this guy could have worked for the next 200,000 years and still be in the red. Jesus might as well been saying that he owed a gazillion dollars. Today, if you make six figures in 2023, 2024 money, that's about 20 billion. And in terms of thinking about the difference between a million and a billion, if you think about it in time, a million seconds ago was 11 days, 11 days ago. A billion seconds ago was 1992. So I was in diapers. So the sum is comically large, and it was meant to be so. But the man begs for mercy and is shown mercy from the master. His debt is forgiven. Instead of owing the master a cajillion dollars, he owes nothing. And there is great rejoicing, but not so fast. The man who had just been forgiven a debt of 200,000 years of labor, goes and finds his peer, who owed him 100 denari, or about three months' wages. Just like the man five minutes ago, the servant begs for forgiveness. But this time, no mercy. is given. Rather than due unto others, he throws his fellow servant into debtor's prison. But the parable doesn't end there. When the master got word of the hypocrisy of the man he just forgave, he revoked the forgiveness and said, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in his anger, the master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt.

he revoked the forgiveness and said, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in his anger, the master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So what would this look like us practically today? What would this? look like? Would it look like a husband that blew it at work is pardoned by his boss and then comes home and chastises his wife for accidentally burning the meatloaf? Or think about a teenage son who wrecks his dad's truck, is offered mercy, and then proceeds to pumble his little brother for destroying his favorite millennium falcon legoset. This is the example that I thought of. It came from the Lord of the Rings, the two towers. So in terms of preparing for the sermon that the guidance the pastors gave me was that I had to quote, Tolkien or Lewis at least once and to try to keep it under under 90 minutes. So we'll see how we do. So in the two towers, Gallum has just tried to kill Sam and Frodo and to take the ring for himself. And now the hobbits have Gallum restrained with an Elvis rope. Ghalm wants the rope removed because it burns his. But first, he's made to swear that he will be very, very good, that he will never let Sauron have the ring, that he would save it. So this is Ghalan's repentance. This is his turning from evil to do what is good. In essence, Gowling's life was forfeit because of his wicked actions.

This is his turning from evil to do what is good. In essence, Gowling's life was forfeit because of his wicked actions. But rather than enact justice, the two hobbits show pity or essentially forgive Ghalm when he bravels, repents, and begs for mercy. But was Gowl really repentant? A hundred and four pages later, Gowlom shows his repentance to be false by leading Frodo and Sam to Shilob so that she will kill him. Gowlum uses mental gymnastics to reason that allowed the spider. to kill the hobbits is not technically a violation of his oath. But in betraying his master, in breaking his oath and acting hypocritically, he shows his repentance to be false, much like the wicked servant in the parable. Most parables have one main point that the speaker is trying to drive home. This parable concludes with that point in verse 35. So my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. This point can't be missed because Jesus makes the same point. After instructing us how to pray in Matthew 6. He says, for if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses. This parable could be summarized like this.

This parable begins with Peter's question about how many times he must forgive his brother when his brother sins against him. In verse 21, we read, Then Peter came up to him and said, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Why does Peter ask this question? Peter's question was brought on by the teaching of Jesus immediately prior. Right above the parable, we learn the context of the parable and why Peter is asking this question. So if we back up to verse 15, we read this. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen, even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. So why is Jesus teaching about unforgiveness in the parable? Because Peter asked for permission to withhold forgiveness after the seventh time that he offers him. Why does Peter ask about that? Because that's what Jesus is teaching. about what to do when your brother sins against you. This was a hard teaching for Peter and it's a hard teaching for us because he saw the pattern that would happen with sinners. Sin, repent, be forgiven, rinse and repeat. It is offering forgiveness to those who have sinned against you an easy thing to do.

about what to do when your brother sins against you. This was a hard teaching for Peter and it's a hard teaching for us because he saw the pattern that would happen with sinners. Sin, repent, be forgiven, rinse and repeat. It is offering forgiveness to those who have sinned against you an easy thing to do. When was the last time that someone even asked you to forgive them? Forgiving others can be an especially hard thing to do when you don't consider the enormous debt that God has forgiven you in Christ. So in the prayer, why didn't Jesus use an insane number and then a tiny insignificant number to exaggerate his point? Why not a cajillion dollars on the one hand and a widow's might on the other? Why did the second servant owe three months wages? I think the answer is because it isn't nothing. If I loan you ten bucks, there's little chance of me throwing you in jail to collect on the sawbook. Even if I had it back, my life would not be that different. Maybe I could get one more extra number one at Chick-fil-A, but my life doesn't really change. that drastically much. But three months' wages is actually kind of a big deal. That could be an engagement ring or a down payment on a house, or maybe I'd pay off my car. My life actually changes if I have an extra three months of wages in my checking account. So it's a hard thing to forgive. It takes

an engagement ring or a down payment on a house, or maybe I'd pay off my car. My life actually changes if I have an extra three months of wages in my checking account. So it's a hard thing to forgive. It takes thought, courage, trust, and humility to forgive that sum, even though it pales in comparison to what we have been forgiven. Jesus is teaching in Matthew 18, 15, through 20, is the basis for how we carry out church discipline. What are the steps of confronting sin in our church? Step one is to confront your brother alone. If you repents, great, forgive him, be reconciled, and move on. That's it. Easy peasy. But if he does not repent, what do you do? Take one or two brothers with you and try again. Why? That every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. Step three is anticipated in establishing the charge by two or three witnesses. If after step two, the brother repents, perfect, forgive him, be reconciled, move on. But if not, step three is tell it to the church. In our case, that means tell it to the elders. When this happens, there will be due process. Witnesses will be called, evidence will be examined. But once the elders are involved, if unrepentance persists, the final step is excommunication, or as verse 17 says, let him be to you as a Gentile and his tax collector.

evidence will be examined. But once the elders are involved, if unrepentance persists, the final step is excommunication, or as verse 17 says, let him be to you as a Gentile and his tax collector. Remember, all Ultimately, the hope of church discipline is that the unrepentant would repentant, and there would be restoration. The goal is that they would regain fellowship with the church. That's the ultimate goal of church discipline. This process highlights how we deal with sin in the body, and it highlights other important aspects like church membership. It cannot have church discipline without membership. The reformers believe that there were three marks of a true church, one of them being church discipline. So if your church doesn't practice discipline, then it's not a true church, just as much as if you decided not to preach the word or to skip baptism or communion, you're not a true church in the eyes of the reformers that we would agree with. So that just shows the importance of church membership is a necessary thing in order to follow the steps of Matthew 18 to apply church discipline. The process of church discipline also highlights the severity and courage or flyer to stay in fellowship within our church. If we take seriously the commands to tell a brother when he sins against you, and if we realize that starting this process, you could end up having to testify before the church about the sin,

But I thought that we had to forgive people no matter what. I thought it was the Christian duty to forgive whether there's repentance or not. I've heard that before. I'm sure you've heard that. It's a very common teaching in the modern American church. But it doesn't have biblical. basis. Since forgiveness is transactional, it requires repentance. It's not possible to forgive someone who is not repented. As the offended party, you can be ready to forgive them, and you should be ready to forgive them. You can be on the edge of your seat bursting with forgiveness. You can pray for their repentance. You can even move on and decide not to waste any more emotional capital on the grievance, but without repentance, you can't forgive. Peter's question is not about how many times you have to forgive when there is no repentance. Jesus already answered that in verse 17. He said, ultimately, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. The fruit of forgiveness is reconciliation. And unless a person repents and is forgiven and restored, there is no reconciliation. Luke 173 says, if your brother of sins, rebuke him. And if you repents, forgiven. We are not universalists. We don't think that God forgives all people whether they repent or not. We don't think that hell is empty. We follow the example of God when we request forgiveness or we request repentance before we offer forgiveness.

all people whether they repent or not. We don't think that hell is empty. We follow the example of God when we request forgiveness or we request repentance before we offer forgiveness. But Ethan, wouldn't it be tiresome if after every little technical sin, we went around calling people to repent and beginning the process outlined in Matthew 18. Yes, yes, it would. And that's why there's a second option for believers to let love cover the offense. First Peter 4-8 says, above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. First 1 Corinthians 13.5 says about love, it does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit, it is not provoked, and it does not keep an account of wrongs suffered. However, these instructions do not contradict or overrule Matthew 18. A believer who seeks to restore his brother, whose engrievous, unrepentant sin, does not violate the law of love. In fact, it's the most loving thing that a brother can do. John 1513 tells us, greater love has no one. than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. Another way to say that is my life for yours. Church discipline is a personally, costly love that the brother applies to the unrepentant brother. In the book The Peacemaker, the author discusses the requirements for overlooking or

for yours. Church discipline is a personally, costly love that the brother applies to the unrepentant brother. In the book The Peacemaker, the author discusses the requirements for overlooking or covering offenses. He says, overlooking is an active process. To overlook an offense means to deliberately decide not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow in the pent-up bitterness. If you cannot let go of an offense in this way, if it's too serious to overlook, or if it continues as a part of a pattern in the other person's life, then you will need to go and talk to the other person about it in a loving and constructive manner. In overlooking offenses, we should ask for God's help and even forgetting the details of the grievance. If weeks and months later, we can recall with pinpoint high-definition accuracy, the details of the offense, it's a good indication that we have not actually overlooked the offense and we have added more sin to the scenario. Tolkien has one more lesson that helps us to examine when we should let love cover an offense and when we should confront sin. It helps us to use wise judgment and not be too quick on the draw in confronting every little sin. This conversation between Gandalf and Frodo takes place before Frodo and Sam show mercy to Gallum. Unlike Pastor Solve, I can't actually do the voices, but

on the draw in confronting every little sin. This conversation between Gandalf and Frodo takes place before Frodo and Sam show mercy to Gallum. Unlike Pastor Solve, I can't actually do the voices, but this is what Frodo says. What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature when he had the chance. Pity? It was pity that stayed his hand, pity and mercy, not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil and escaped in the end because he began his ownership of the ring so with pity. I am sorry, said Frodo, but I am frightened, and I do not feel any pity for Gowl. You have not seen him, Gandalf broke in. No, and I don't want to, said Fredo. I can't understand you. Do you mean to say that you and the elves have just let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate, he is as bad as an orc and just an enemy. He deserves death. Deserves it, I dare say he does. Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment, for even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hard. I have not much hope that Gowl can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. I would argue that Frodo internalized Gandoz's wisdom here, and that's why you showed Ghala mercy in the narrative we read about earlier. It's instructed for us to remember that we are creatures with a limited view of

fixed forever in a universe of pure hatred. So what Lewis is describing here is what happens when we don't confront sin and we don't let love cover the offense. When we just let it build up in our hearts and we don't address it, we can start to see our loved ones in this way. Our friends, our family, our loved ones is blacker and blacker, and it makes it easier and easier to convict them in our hearts when we don't let love cover the offense or confront the sin. So we should be warned by these words and refuse to give the sin its head. So I want to close with eight quick applications from this parable, the teaching from Matthew 18, and the instruction from 1 Peter 4. Number one, these passages are commands from the Lord. There are, thou shalls and not hot tips or suggestions. To forsake them is to sin. This teaching is for believers in the context of the church, and while it does not preclude the option of addressing sin outside the church, it is not the context of this passage. Without the authority of the church, it's very difficult to follow the steps of Matthew 18 with success. So I want to encourage you to take these seriously as you apply them in your marriage and in your family and in our church. Number two, there are ways to deal with sin that are actually sinful and multiply it rather than make peace. There are options for dealing with sin that Christians do not enjoy. They are not permitted.

to deal with sin that are actually sinful and multiply it rather than make peace. There are options for dealing with sin that Christians do not enjoy. They are not permitted. We have talked about the process for confronting sin, which hopefully leads to repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Or if not confronting sin, letting love cover the offense. But since these two are hard, many times we spring for sinful options. Sometimes we rather opt for false peace. We heal wounds lightly and say peace, peace, when there is no peace. We prefer to say nothing and harbor resentment. We still run Matthew 18, but only in our own hearts. We become the judge, jury, and executioner without the help of one or two brothers or the church. We excommunicate in our heart and keep a record of wrong without ever letting the brother know his sin. Why do we do that? I think it stems from the sin of cowardice that's afraid to look his brother in the eye. It feels good to pronounce judgment in our own hearts without confronting the brother, but we should remember Gandalf's wisdom, do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment, for even the very wise cannot see all ends. If we believe God's word and the commands contained in it, we will repudiate this sin. If we follow the commands of Matthew 18, we would eliminate the majority of the charges that we bring against our brothers in our own hearts. If we knew that we had to have evidence of the sin that we're accusing our brother of, since eventually this church will want to hear our

that we bring against our brothers in our own hearts. If we knew that we had to have evidence of the sin that we're accusing our brother of, since eventually this church will want to hear our charges, our threshold for accusing a brother would be far higher. If we properly apply the commands Matthew 18, when the elder asks us to support our accusations and all we could muster was, while I felt like she was being rude to me, it would make us feel public shame and humiliation. The just ecclesiastical court will throw out the purse on bringing an unsubstantiated charge and dismissed with prejudice. If we need evidence instead of emotions and feelings, we would not be so quick to render a guilty verdict of our brother in our own heart. So I encourage you, either confront sin or let love cover the offense. but refuse to harbor sin in your heart without addressing it. Number three, while dealing with sin, we should keep a close eye on the disposition of our own hearts. The basis for following Matthew 18 or letting love cover an offense is love. We are all fallen people who are beset with sin and our motivations will always be mixed. But as much as possible, with a clear conscience, we should try to ensure that our actions are driven by love for our brothers. if we're ever waiting for repentance and when it comes, we're disappointed because it forces us to forgive. That's an obvious telltale sign that our heart is not motivated by love, it's something else.

if we're ever waiting for repentance and when it comes, we're disappointed because it forces us to forgive. That's an obvious telltale sign that our heart is not motivated by love, it's something else. In working to maintain unity and fellowship in our church, we should make sure that our desires are to seek the purity of our church and not to satiate a personal vendetta for justice. Ask yourself this question. Are you confronting sin to seek retribution and justice for yourself, or are you confronting sin to seek retribution and justice for yourself, or are Are you genuinely concerned about the soul of the other? Keep watch over your own heart and guard yourself from sinful motivations when properly applying these commands. Number four, Christians can judge the fruit of repentance. Christians can judge fruit. Unlike the modern leftists would like you to believe, the judge not passages, do not believe that Christians can't judge the fruit of repentance. Just like the master in a parable who renigs on his forgiveness, When the repentance proved to be false, we can also judge the fruit of repentance. First Corinthians 5 tells us, Paul says, for what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside, purge the evil person from among you. While we cannot judge the hearts of men, we can inspect the fruit of repentance.

by praying together and asking God for forgiveness and strength. When I send against Paige in front of our kids, they see me repent to her for my specific sin. Same thing at work, with friends, extended family, wherever you go. So just like we practice repenting of sins to God every week in our church liturgy, we need to strengthen the muscles of repentance and forgiveness when it comes to interpersonal relationships in the church. So resolve to practice this. Like everything else that's hard to do, the more that we we do it, the easier it becomes. Number six, confession of sin requires more than a general repentance. We should offer specific repentance for specific sins. Our repentance should not sound like, my bad, forgive me, I'm a sinner. The Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter 15, of repentance unto life, says this. Man's duty, or man ought not to content themselves with a general repentance, but it is every man's duty to endeavor to repent of his particular sins particularly. As every man is bound to make private confession of the sins to God, praying for the pardon thereof, upon which and the forsaking of them, he shall find mercy. So he that scandalizes his brother or the Church of Christ ought to be willing by a private or public confession and sorrow for his sin to declare his repentance to those that are offended, who are thereupon to be

scandalizes his brother or the Church of Christ ought to be willing by a private or public confession and sorrow for his sin to declare his repentance to those that are offended, who are thereupon to be reconciled to him in love and to receive him. So in repenting and in coming for repentance, strive for specificity. Number seven, how do we build and maintain unity and fellowship in the church? We do it by obeying God's commands when it comes to confronting sin, covering offenses, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. This prevents the harboring of resentment and keeping of record of wrongs or letting wounds fester. It helps us to keep short accounts and to practice loving one another the way that God loves us. Finally, it helps to prevent church members who have taken solemn oaths before the church from rage quitting and violating their vows. So protect the purity of our church by obeying these commands. Number eight, the biblical standard for forgiveness is a very high bar. This is what the Bible says about how God forgives us and is how we ought to seek to forgive one another. Psalm 103, verse 12, sets this standard with what happens after forgiveness. As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 812 reads, for I will be merciful toward their iniquities and I will remember their sins no

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 812 reads, for I will be merciful toward their iniquities and I will remember their sins no more. And then finally, Micah 719 says he will again have compassion on us. He will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. This is one of the many joys that the Lord has afforded the body of Christ and withheld from those living in darkness. Enjoy the bounty of God's forgiveness and be willing and cheerful to show the same to your brothers and sisters in Christ. So to conclude, I encourage you to practice the difficult task of confronting sin, letting love cover offenses, repent, forgive, and be reconciled, and in so doing, build and maintain the unity of our church. Let's pray. Lord God, you're full of steadfast love and mercy. We owe you an infinite debt because of the sin of our first Father Adam and because of the sins that we commit each and every day. Like the master in the parable, you have taken our debt and erased it because of the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. But more than cancer or debt, you have applied the righteousness of Christ to our accounts. Rather than be infinitely in debt, we have been given a pearl of great price. Help us to not act like the wicked servant

cancer or debt, you have applied the righteousness of Christ to our accounts. Rather than be infinitely in debt, we have been given a pearl of great price. Help us to not act like the wicked servant in Christ's parable, but to forgive as we have been forgiven. Give us courage and humility to confront sin, cover offenses with love, repent, forgive, and be reconciled to our brothers. We ask that by your spirit, you would help us to walk in these good works, which you have prepared for us to walk in, and we pray as you taught us. Our Father, who are in heaven divine, give those who trespass against us, and meet us not into temptation, we live there the kingdom, and the power and the Lord, and the Lord, Thank you.