Q&A: How do I Deal with a Reviling Wife? Should I Move? What do I Buy for My 1st Handgun? & More

at that book group. I don't, I can't, I can't remember what we were going through. I think it was that when we were doing when I first got here was masculine Christianity by Garris. So it was probably that. Probably that. Yep. Yep. Yeah. So it's been a little bit, but yeah, yeah, really excited about that should be a lot of fun. He really wants to do the whiskey episode. with Tim while he's here. Let's do it. I think we should. Yeah, we absolutely. If we can, if Tim has, the free time and we can, we can schedule that. That would be a lot of fun. Yeah, kind of a, we have a couple guys in church. They're like connoisseurs, I would say. And like really smart on, on all things, bourbon, whiskey, but also no, because they have like friends in the industry and friends that are close to it. Like, no, these are the up and coming ones. These are the, you know, best bang for your buck. This one is really out kicking his coverage, like stuff like that. So I think that'll be really fun to do. Yeah. it would be a lot of fun. My dad's super into that stuff. He's got a bar at his house and lots of bottles. So that'll be a good time. Today we're basically doing a Q&A episode. We try to do one of these roughly every quarter. Well, I say we. Ethan stays pretty on top of like making sure we get one of these in periodically. I just have a Google calendar that says do it, do an AMA. So there you go. Like you got a calendar and some of us is better at using calendars than others, I guess. But yeah, this time, I think just because we've been consistent with this. The questions for this one were really good. We got some good questions. Yeah, that's super helpful. Really appreciate that. You put something out on Patreon and we got a bunch of good responses on that. So it makes it interesting for us. It makes it really helpful. So keep

questions. Yeah, that's super helpful. Really appreciate that. You put something out on Patreon and we got a bunch of good responses on that. So it makes it interesting for us. It makes it really helpful. So keep doing that. It's really, we really appreciate it. Yeah. Speaking of the Patreon, if you have not checked out our Patreon channel, definitely go check it out. We've got a lot of stuff going on over there. We're doing roughly a shoot a month here recently. And so we're trying to work in as much stuff as possible into the Patreon. I know the last one, the after hour show is basically us doing an after action report on some stuff that we did moving and shooting at the range. That was a lot of fun. Let's us do some more video stuff for the after hours guys as well. So huge shout out to you guys over there on the Patreon. We really appreciate the support. Thanks, as always also, to all of the Christian companies that sponsor this podcast. You guys make this possible and allow us to do this work. So we really appreciate it. Yeah, big thing coming. up is the conference in June. Yep. What are the dates? 12th? Oh, you put me on the spot. I think it's the 12th or the 14th or something like that. Yeah. But we say that because we just learned today that we're, what, 65% sold out? Yeah, the tickets are going quick. Quick. So we're like 50% more tickets sold than we were at this point last year. So if you are thinking about going or you think you might want to go now would be the time to go ahead and do that. And we're got a lot of fun stuff playing, a lot of good events. We kick it off with golf tournament. Golf tournament, picnic. We've got the new

want to go now would be the time to go ahead and do that. And we're got a lot of fun stuff playing, a lot of good events. We kick it off with golf tournament. Golf tournament, picnic. We've got the new Christianum games, the second installment of that. We'll have a singles mixer. There's going to be a VIP mixer. There's a pastures breakfast. There's all kinds of good stuff going on. Yeah. So lots of events, lots of opportunities to network and meet people. Got a lot of good sponsors, Christian companies coming out to booth. So yeah, we're really, it would be a great time. Yeah, it's going to be great. One other thing about that is that we have for the first time ever a family ticket. So basically your entire household, including kids, all fit under one family ticket, which is a huge discount for a lot of people with bigger families. So if you haven't seen that, go check that out. I think it's the war for normal.com to find all the info on the conference. Sweet. All right, let's dive into some of these questions. We'll start with this one first. I'm in a CREC Church in Annapolis. One of our men, a Marine, is leading the effort to formalize security measures within our body. He asked me to develop procedures for screening visitors and de-escalating conflict. Do you have any resources that you can share on that topic? It's a great question. Obviously, this probably comes on the heels of us doing that security team

de-escalating conflict. Do you have any resources that you can share on that topic? It's a great question. Obviously, this probably comes on the heels of us doing that security team episode. We talk with this a little bit. For us, and it would be way easier because a lot of this kind of stuff. Like we are making up as we go and responding to like, these are real things that have happened to us. So we're going to practice doing the things that are most common. But we don't have like a, that we know of, like a really good outside. This guide, you know, does this training or we've used them or anything like that. So a lot of it is just internal that we're figuring it out and then turning those into SOPs. I will say practically, kind of like what we talked about in the in that security team episode was profiling. It works. Like the left, you know, they don't want you to know this, but like you can just profile people. But no, seriously, like, whatever the normal dress for your church is, when somebody comes in, not dressed that way, you know, that should raise a red flag. Doesn't make them a threat, you know, but necessarily, but it should be raised a red flag. And I think one of the big things that we encourage our security team to do is interact with people, approach people, talk to them, shake their hand, like ask them questions. you know, and, and kind of get a feel for how they respond to those things. And you can, you can learn a lot about somebody in a 30 second conversation. So a lot of that's just being very

if someone shows up and they stick out like a sore thumb, like, oh, that's, that's different. What's going on there? And one of the downfalls of this egalitarian, multicultural, like slop that we want to try to pump into our churches is that you can't do that. If you have no distinctive culture, everyone sticks out like a sort of them. There is no cohesion. So you can't see anything that stands out. And so I think that's just one of those like proactive things. This is why developing a strong culture is really important. Yeah. On another level. No, I think you're absolutely right. I think on the de-escalating conflict kind of thing, we do talk about that from the security team perspective. Like, we want our guy, we don't want our guys to just ramp it up and ramp it up until somebody gets shot. Like, we want there to be a de-escalatory nature to all the interactions. So if there is something that's going on, we, we have them practice. Like, how do we, how do we lower the volume here? How do we take it to somewhere else? How do we, how do we de-escalate? So we do practice that? But I think the other thing to remember is that's, that's like one of the jobs of the security team, maybe a minor job, is to make sure the service isn't disrupted and keep things calm and keep people peaceable. You don't want to ramp them up if they weren't going to be anyway. But if somebody's coming in to disrupt, if somebody's coming in to do harm, it doesn't matter. Like, doesn't matter what you do. Like, they're going to accomplish what they

to be anyway. But if somebody's coming in to disrupt, if somebody's coming in to do harm, it doesn't matter. Like, doesn't matter what you do. Like, they're going to accomplish what they set out to accomplish. So like, if I was to either pick a ditch of like escalating something unnecessarily or like being too passive in my approach, I would, I would rather deal with the problem that that's at hand. Debrief it. How could we do this better later rather than let somebody in or, you know, who's actually a problem, actually a threat that that has no business being there. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. It's just a downstream effect of that. We want whoa guys, not go guys. We want to have to, you know, if we're going to air on one side for the men, we want to have to pull the reins back a little bit rather than constantly kicking you in the rear end and trying to get you to go. Yeah, come on man. Go, go talk to the guy. We don't know him. Go talk. Like, like you don't want guys like that. You want to be able to say it once. And they're like, okay, I understand the orders and I'm going to go execute, you know, the brief. Yeah. I think the other thing with that is choosing your guys, choosing your team ahead of time, it makes a big difference. Because if you only pick, you know, giddy up guys, then you're, you're, that's your whole job. It's like, hey, go, go do this. Go do your job. Please do your job. Yeah. But if everyone's while, you had to, you had to be like, hey, you know what, let's, let's, let's reel it back a little bit. Yeah. You know, we, we're a little bit. Yeah, let's, let's turn it back. Like, that would be way better than having to constantly just prod these guys into doing what you, what you want them to do.

Yeah. You know, we, we're a little bit. Yeah, let's, let's turn it back. Like, that would be way better than having to constantly just prod these guys into doing what you, what you want them to do. Yeah, absolutely. The, uh, the cool thing was we got that question and then we got another comment on, I think this was on bus route. Yeah. So, um, on the, you know, different podcast app, there's, there's a thing that says, like, text us. And that's where most of these came from, few other places, but most of them came that way. So that, that's a great way. We can't actually reply to those. Yeah, we can't respond to those. And we actually, a lot of the time, unless you put this info in the actual comment or in the text, we don't know who it's coming from. And we can't respond to you, but we are able to actually read and kind of diagnose all of those. Yeah. So it works great for AMAs. But if there's something like where you want us to respond to you directly, a phone number or an email or something like that makes that. Because if not, we have no way to hit reply to the message. Right. But anyway, this, T.J. Brown sent this message. He owns a company called Salt, Safety Awareness, Leadership, training. They're out of North Dakota. And he helps churches, nonprofits, start and run safety and security teams. So he wanted to offer help, resources that the listeners need. He, he runs salt as a ministry. He doesn't take salary. But he's more than happy to send training materials, policies, classes, assessments, whatever people need. So if you want to reach out to TJ, it's TJ at saltforchurches.com.

classes, assessments, whatever people need. So if you want to reach out to TJ, it's TJ at saltforchurches.com. And it sounds like, based on the first guy's question, maybe they should connect. And he would probably have some of those resources that he's looking for. So, TJ, thanks for that. Yeah, that's super helpful. You've worked hard, worn every hat, and now you're ready to expand your business. The only problem is that now you're stuck doing tedious bookkeeping. That's why we here at New Christen Press use Keep Wise partners to help keep track of our finances. They provide outsource bookkeeping, fractional CFO services, and strategic advisory for growing small businesses. Their goal is to help alleviate the burden of tracking your finances. so that you can focus on business growth and community impact. Plus, they'll soon be launching their own small business-friendly accounting software. Visit keepwise.partners to learn more. As men, one of our primary duties is to provide for our families. Unfortunately, a lack of specific financial plans or goals can prevent you from providing for your family in the long run. We use Joe Garrisey and his team from backwards planning financial. He created a personalized financial plan with retirement, insurance, and tax-efficient strategies, so I could provide for my family with detailed intention. Visit backwards planning financial.com.

This question is, what is your advice for finding the best, most affordable options? What equipment would you consider most functional in strength training and what would be good for his wife also? What equipment would be wise in order to one day, hopefully soon, be able to include my kids in strength training at home? So basically like a home gym question, We won't go into too much detail here. We're going to do a full episode on this here coming up. He said that he's already got, let's see, a pull-up bar, dip bar, adjustable dumbbells, a bench, and a 100-pound sandbag. That's a good start, honestly. Something he's wanting to work towards is a barbell and some plates and maybe a squat rack. I think all of that stuff on the list is really good stuff to be working towards. There's a reason that barbells and plates are. kind of the chief markers and used for the biggest movements when it comes to strength. So even the Olympic lifts like the snatch and the clean and jerk, as well as the powerlifting stuff like the squat bench and deadlift. Everything is used a barbell. They're using different kinds of barbells in those different sports, but it's a barbell and plates. The reason for that is that it is the most modular and loadable thing that you could possibly have. So you could start in your wife or even like your young son potentially at something. point when he's a teenager could be using a 45-pound barbell, but at the same time,

in your wife or even like your young son potentially at something. point when he's a teenager could be using a 45-pound barbell, but at the same time, you could use that same 45-pound barbell and load it up to 500 pounds if you wanted to. And so it's incremental. You can go up by two pounds at a time, or you can go up by 100 pounds at a time, completely up to you. So top of my list would be a squat rack that doubles as a pull-up bar and then a barbell and a set of plates. One thing I would suggest here is getting a range of a set of plates. depending on your strength level, having a set of 45s, 25s, and then a few sets of tens, I think is really, really useful. You can hit all of the big markers there up to around 225 pounds. And then once you get to that point, you might need another set of 45s. But I think it's really important to try to find those really basic things. As far as sourcing this stuff goes, I would say as much of it as you possibly can try to find on Facebook marketplace or Craigslist or whatever, you know, secondhand site that you can find it on. You can usually find pretty good deals on gym equipment that people are trying to get rid of because they're moving or, you know, they, they didn't ever use it. Yeah. And they're in really good shape. You just picked up some stuff the other day. I just picked up 80s, 90s and 100 sets of dumbbells. And those are for the for the farmer's

you know, they, they didn't ever use it. Yeah. And they're in really good shape. You just picked up some stuff the other day. I just picked up 80s, 90s and 100 sets of dumbbells. And those are for the for the farmer's carries that we're going to do. You're not overhead person. But they were like, you know, 180, 200 bucks, you know, like dollar a pound, like something like that. Like, I think that's what you look at when you go to Grok or chat GPT. You can figure out, hey, this is what something new from Rogue ship costs. And then you can look at on Marketplace, it's actually a dollar a pound or if you can find it for 75 cents a pound or, you know, numbers like that. So you can tell what's a good, a good deal. I picked up that trap bar for like 80 bucks. Rogue has a new one for like 425. Right. What else did I get? Oh, a pair, a set of 55. I wanted another set of 45s. I got a set of 55s. They're like cheap bumper plates. The best is I got a set of 55s a few years ago. And I had never used 55s in training. But I didn't realize how automatic my weight counting was with 45s and 25s and 25s and 35s. Pull out the calculator. But now you have 55s and you're like, what in the world is that? You're like looking at the bar, especially in the middle of workouts when you're a little bit brain dead. You'll, you'll stare at a barbell for two minutes trying to figure out what's actually on there. They were like 100 bucks. Yeah. And it's, it's great, great deals. That's the other thing about this is that investing in this can be kind of pricey, especially when you're young at first, but the resale value on all of this stuff, it just retains its value really, really well.

about this is that investing in this can be kind of pricey, especially when you're young at first, but the resale value on all of this stuff, it just retains its value really, really well. You can always go, hey, I'm going to get rid of all of this stuff and sell it for a dollar a pound or whatever it is in your area. Or you can bunch it all together and go, here's the lump sum price. If you want a whole built-out home gym, if you want to get rid of it at some point. But, I mean, I've been buying gym equipment for myself for well over a decade at this point. And, And when we got here, I had enough stuff where I just moved it into a space that already had some gym equipment in it. and it became our like kind of refuge men's gym, basically. And now a bunch of guys use it. And I get to make a return on it. So squat racks too. I see them on, you know, we have KSL here, but Craigslist or Facebook marketplace all the time. Yeah. Nice, well-made, you know, squat racks. And they're cheap. Yeah. We'll do a more deep dive into the. this because I would give like a list of criteria and and recommendations based off of like priority. Here's the thing that I would get first and then work our way down the list. But that would give you a good idea. Main thing is just going to be watching, watching those resale sites and trying to find stuff. Here's the other thing. Before they PCS you and the Coast Guard, by the way, because they, if you move yourself, they move you per pound. There you go. And so they're going to, the Coast Guard will pay you to move your Gem, and you'll probably pay for it.

is failures and desires to walk in repentance. How does a man faithfully live in an understanding way toward his wife and set a godly example for a two-year-old son when elders fail to show nerve and supporting him and even the basics of Christian family life? This guy said, the Lord builds the house and I trust him in his word to give me the tools, but you may have shown yourselves to be practical thinkers. So I thought I would shoot you the question. Yeah, this is a tough one. We actually, we discussed this fairly, regularly. I know we've had long guild discussions about this exact question. It's such a common thing. I couldn't tell you how many people I know or meet on a regular basis that this is the exact scenario that they're living in. Yep. You know, maybe they didn't do it right when they first got married, you know, but they've figured it out. They're on the right path, but they're just dragging their wife along. And she's like kicking and screaming the whole way and reviling and unsubmissive. And it's, it's such. a common thing today. It is extremely unfortunate, but that is true. I don't know how much comfort there is in the fact that you're not alone with that issue, but you're definitely not. My first thought when he says elders fail to show nerve in supporting him in the basics of Christian family life. Yeah. I assume the basics of Christian family life are like, you have to go to church with your family and your wife has to go to church with you. You want to lead family worship.

Yeah. I assume the basics of Christian family life are like, you have to go to church with your family and your wife has to go to church with you. You want to lead family worship. Maybe she, you know, drags her feet or doesn't want to participate or things like that. Like you want her to read her Bible and she doesn't do that. Like the very basics of what is a Christian have to do at a minimum, minimum level. Yeah. And those things are even pushed back against, right? Right. So if that's the church I'm in, I'm finding another church. Unfortunately, that is going to be the answer to a lot of these questions. And we have a question coming up about like weighing, weighing the options and how do you make the decision to move? Because it is really difficult. But it really is like it is the fountainhead for all of these good things. If you don't have elders and pastors that are preaching the word and being faithful to it and then also demanding and applying the application of that truth and then and then, you know, like administering church discipline and like holding the people that they're that are under their charge to an obedience standard, it's just really difficult to get anything else right. No. I mean, and you can you can see people try to do it. on their own and they spend their wheels and they don't make a lot of progress. I'm not saying it's impossible. Like, I think men can lead their families out of bad situations that, you know, when they walk in repentance, I think, I think they can do it. But how much better it is when you've got

on their own and they spend their wheels and they don't make a lot of progress. I'm not saying it's impossible. Like, I think men can lead their families out of bad situations that, you know, when they walk in repentance, I think, I think they can do it. But how much better it is when you've got one pastor or a session of pastors that you trust that will not white knight the wife, that will actually call out female sins, that will encourage you, that will equip you for what you need to do in your own home? Like, it's so much better. Right. And even then, it's still hard. Yeah. Right. But it's so much better than trying to go at it alone. So that, unfortunately, that would be, you know, the first thing I would, I would think is the positive, I think the encouragement is two-year-old son. Like, I don't know how long you guys been married, but he's only two. It's not like he's 12 or 18. Yeah. And like that ship has sailed. You have a huge opportunity because he is so young to get it right, to get to get her to walk in repentance, to get her to walk in repentance, to get her to understand. understand what her role is and her job and how what submission looks like and Ephesians do. I use, I've done a lot of premarital counseling this year. And I use Toby Sumter's book, No Mir Mortals, to go through that. It has, you know, it's the book. It has a couple's workbook where you fill out questions. When you have a pastor walking through it, like, that's great. But even if she'd be willing to go through that, you know, that might be a good place to start. And it always, it always depends on like, where is she at? What's the be and her bonnet?

you fill out questions. When you have a pastor walking through it, like, that's great. But even if she'd be willing to go through that, you know, that might be a good place to start. And it always, it always depends on like, where is she at? What's the be and her bonnet? what is the actual issue? But usually it comes down to something around Ephesians chapter 5. Yeah. Yeah. I think the other thing here is that patience goes along ways. When you come to these convictions and I'm like this, you want to see change overnight. And this is just the way that we are. And I think we're sort of programmed this way today to just expect immediate fulfillment of our desires. And that's just not the way that God made the world. Like there are times and seasons and some things take a long time to bear fruit. And I think back to your point about having a two-year-old boy, that is one of those areas where like, even you, I don't know how old this guy is, but like, it might take time for you to bear the fruit of repentance in some of these things yourself just because of the maturity and where you're at. And it may not. Maybe that's completely inaccurate for this guy. But my point is that for a two-year-old, that is something that bears fruit really quickly. Like faithful, faithful discipleship, faithful, faithful, like, leading of your children in family worship and praying with them each night and things like that. The fruit that that bears happens really quickly. And it's

when they're in this situation tend toward, um, not passivity, but, but being extra gentle. Yeah. I think that there's kind of a tendency to say like, you know, she is where she is. I'm, I'm over here. I want her to come along. And so I'm just kind of going to kind of laissez-faire. And when she gets there, she'll get there. And unfortunately, I think that that's probably with most situations, the wrong approach, the wrong tactic is women want to be led. It's in their nature. It's how God designed us to men to lead and women to be led. And so there is a sense where actually leading with, you know, leadership and not just waiting for her to show up and say, I'm like, Ryan, like, lead me when I want to be led. When I feel like being led, like instead of waiting for that and taking the reins and asserting, you know, being assertive, I think that that actually goes a long way. And it's kind of counterintuitive to our modern feminist, egalitarian approach to things. Yeah. But I actually do think doing it the right way, doing it lovingly, saying truth and love, actually women tend to respond well with that. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. I completely agree. Your kids are the same way in respect to you. So with a boy, like, it's just ingrained in him to want to be like his father. Yeah. I need to write this up and actually make a post about it at some point. But it dawned on me earlier this week as an example that I had grabbed a five-pound plate to add to a barbell in an early morning lift. I'm by myself.

I'm by myself. And it dawned on me that my dad had bought the plate that I was putting on the barbell here in Ogden. He had bought it at a garage sale when I think I was in the fourth grade. It's been around for that long. I'm 30. about to be 31 and I'm still using the same weight plates and it's not because I on my own got super into lifting weights because when I was in the fourth and fifth grade he bought all this stuff and started doing it. And I saw the fruit of it. He made me do it with him also. So we'll caveat that. But I mean, I was forced to see the fruit of it in myself and in him. And then lo and behold, 20 years later, I still am doing the same thing literally with the same five pound plate. And none of that possibly wouldn't have. have existed without his leadership there when you were, you know, in elementary school. And so like it might take some time, like I said earlier, to see some of the fruit of this stuff. But patient diligence, faithfulness, and continuing to kind of work at work at the problem. The other, the last thing I'll say about that one, here's the thing. You, you want to lead, you want to lead your wife. You start asserting some dominance, being assertive and being, you know, what you think God is calling you to be as a husband and father. She, if your church is effeminent,

you want to lead your wife. You start asserting some dominance, being assertive and being, you know, what you think God is calling you to be as a husband and father. She, if your church is effeminent, she's going to run in the pastors and they're going to rebuke you, right? That's the other problem is you're trying to do things the right way, and they're going to rebuke you for that. That's the nature of the white night. And so it's over and over and over again. That's one of the, not only will they not help you, you know, they're actually supposed to be in your camp, but they're going to be shooting at you. So it makes it almost impossible when you don't have guys in your church, on your team, on your side, who agree with the fundamental principles and will actually back you up. Yeah. Most people don't know this, but in 1776, private American citizens outfitted battleships to fight British tyranny. They didn't wait for permission. They just acted. Armored Republic honors that legacy. They make steel core body armor and tactical gear for the responsible law-abiding citizen. Because when tyranny rises, readiness matters. And hey, every product is made right here in the U.S. So be ready, be armored, be free. Visit armored.com or text. join to 88027. That's armored republic.com or text join j-o-in to 88027.

join to 88027. That's armored republic.com or text join j-o-in to 88027. Americans have the right to protect their families and defend their country against threats both foreign and domestic. The question is, is your firearm ready to perform when it matters. Defiant Machine Works provides precision optic cuts, machine in Tennessee with a fast two-week week or less turnaround. Not only do they provide optic cuts, but they also provide hand stippling custom sarah code and porting all done in-house head to diviant machineworks.com and use code war chess for 10% off. That's W-A-R-C-H-E-S-T. All right. Moving on to this next one. This guy introduces himself. I'm not going to put his email out, but kind of a longer question. He's 27, married with kids. He's been involved in politics. Worked on Ted Cruz's campaign back in the day. Before he went full. Yeah, before he's... Zog. He'd put on Yama Khan. I've never attended seminary formally. I read a bunch, trained by his local pastor, to teach. Basically, he's seeing the issue with younger men in the country who are seeing the issues and the fact that basically our culture is being eroded away and replaced by third-worlders.

on your heart to care for these young men who have no fathers, no pastors. They're, you know, functional bastards. What's your job in that? What's your duty? What's your responsibility? And then how do you know, ultimately, is God calling you to do something about that or, you know, or not? Yeah. This is a good question. I was in a somewhat similar situation of this not very long ago. Probably around the same age, actually, 27. I tried several different things. We tried starting a weekly thing where we would meet at my house and I would have a workout set up. We would go through a workout. Then we would grill some steaks and then hang out, eat dinner and then do a Bible study as dinner was kind of coming to an end. It was a lot to try to bite off, but we were trying to do multiple things and everyone's busy. So it was, it was a decent time commitment. It was about two and a half, three hours on that one day a week. And we did that for a while. It was like a year and a half that we did this at my house. For us, we basically, we exhausted a bunch of these opportunities and, you know, like options, I guess I should say, to try to see if we could get something that would catch. And it never did for us. But it's not to say that something like that couldn't happen. I think the opportunity is there. If you get a core group of guys that will

opportunity is there. If you get a core group of guys that will show up on a regular basis. I would say, though, like, starting small is going to be key. Like, you don't want to try to bite off too much and go, all right, we're just going to start a house church right off the bat. Or, you know, I'm going to try to jump into an office that maybe I'm not prepared to take on. So I don't know. You're the, you're the pasture. So what's your, what's your recommendation there? It's such a hard situation because I think, you know, the way that you're assessing the situation is correct. This is a problem. It's so hard, though, to start something where there's nothing there, right? To get, to get the quality of men that are necessary to build something that lasts is rare. It's very difficult. And especially around the pipe dream that this will be something one day. And so I want you to put in, you know, the ashes work, as Eric would say, now so that we might have this great thing one day. It's hard to get enough high cap guys in the same room together to buy. that vision to, you know, make it last more than a few, few months. And it's really important. Like, you, you've already brought this up, but like, you need more than one guy. If you're going to, if you're going to be the only point of leadership and the only thing that's pouring yourself out into a group, that it probably is just not a good long-term solution, you need a group of guys that can, you know,

if you're going to be the only point of leadership and the only thing that's pouring yourself out into a group, that it probably is just not a good long-term solution, you need a group of guys that can, you know, bolster one another in order to lead something like that. Fundamentally, I think, that it comes down to a prioritization. So you have to ask, like, sometimes it's a knowledge thing. You don't know what you don't know. And like, this is the town we're in. This is the church we're at. And I didn't actually didn't know there was anything better. But you do, right? You do. your cousin might not, but you do. And the thing is, when you look at a dozen guys in a small town going to very mediocre at best church, their prioritization of like where church falls on the hierarchy isn't high enough. And how do you know that is because they're still there. It's not, you know, they've, they found the, the base, the most base church in the town that they can, and it still sucks. And so, you know, logic, if that thing was the number one thing would mean I'm going to go somewhere else where I can find a good church and I can be pastored and the word of God is preached and the sacraments and, you know, church discipline, like those things exist. I'm going to go there. We talk about this all the time. I feel like we sound like a broken record. You don't have to come to Ogden. There are other great, great churches out there. But But if you can't, if guys' priorities aren't there where church is number one thing, then trying to start something is, in my opinion, a non-starter. It is the fountainhead.

then trying to start something is, in my opinion, a non-starter. It is the fountainhead. We've already mentioned this in this episode. But if you don't have that foundation to build off of, you're, you're kind of starting like a social club, basically. But there's no foundation for it. And so it's just probably, it's probably going to be a short-lived thing. Because you have a bunch of people who are not heavily heavily. convinced that this is super important. Otherwise, they would act differently in relation to it. The other relevant question you have to ask is theologically and doctrinally, how do we make pastors? So, I mean, this wouldn't have to be a church, right? Talking about starting something and building something, small meeting once a week, like, you know, but whether it's a Bible say that is like meant to turn into a home church or a home church or just like, hey, we're the first, you know, second Baptist church of, you know, wherever. The thing is, is, like, looking at your beliefs and, you know, your denominational traditions, how do we make pastors? And so that, I think that's really important. So, like, if you're Presbyterian, it's going to be really hard to just start something. Yeah. Or, you know, if you're, if you're Baptist, then maybe you can be congregational. Maybe you can vote, like, maybe. But I do think all the other things on top of the actual, like, how do we make this?

lot different for different households and lots of people here do it in completely different ways. So what's what's family worship look like? Really easy. Read, pray, sing. Next question. For us, so the church, we on the back of our bulletin, we write down some family worship help the guide for people. It's not, it's not prescriptive, but people can follow it if they want to. So basically, it has kind of a daily reading that you can go through. So you're reading the Bible together as a family. using guides like Family Worship Bible Guide by Reformation Heritage Books is a really helpful one to help, you know, think of and ask good questions about the text you just read. It has a catechism for the week. So we're trying to memorize catechism. It has a memory verse for the week, like a short verse. It has prayer requests on it so that we can be praying for our church throughout the week and specific needs that our church has. It's the Bible. bulletin. So it has all the music we sing on Sunday so you can sing. So praying together, you're reading the Bible together and you're singing. We also, um, the other different seasons, we incorporate different things. The only other two things I would recommend 10 year old just straight to the shorter catechism would be really good. But for younger kids, they make, um, kind of a bridged catechism. So it's like, who is, you know, where is God? Who, you know, what is God? God. God is a spirit. Um, who made you, God. What else did God make?

catechism. So it's like, who is, you know, where is God? Who, you know, what is God? God. God is a spirit. Um, who made you, God. What else did God make? everything. Like very simple that, you know, your two-year-old can do, um, or you one, one-something year old can do. So starting with something that they can actually participate in and question and answer is really helpful. And then the other one I like, so my kids are all under 10, but even for a 10-year-old, this would be a good resource. Reformation Heritage has another one. They, they have a couple different, um, kids versions of the, of the study guide. And they go through, one goes through Genesis, one goes through the next four or five books, one goes through, uh, the Gospels and Acts. And they, they have a short reading every day. They have questions, review questions from the day before. So that's one of the things, you know, classical Christian model where you're like stringing these things together, like, um, and trying to retain it, uh, quite, you know, a little brief thing about what you read today, some questions and a prayer. So it's the more turnkey you can make it, in my opinion, the more that you have, your Bible and whatever other auxiliary materials you're using in a pile on your dining room table. Dishes are cleared and you can spend the next 10 minutes doing family worship. You have that set thing every day. You're eating dinner together as a family or it's breakfast or another time, but that's what works for us at this stage. I think that part's really important. Attaching it to another thing that you're going to do on a very regular basis is really important.

another time, but that's what works for us at this stage. I think that part's really important. Attaching it to another thing that you're going to do on a very regular basis is really important. If you leave it sort of as this like floating assignment that just has to be done at some point during the day, that's when it gets overlooked. and you go, I'm too tired or I don't really feel like it or, yeah, well, we, you know, we just didn't have time today. Instead, if you go, we're going to attach it to breakfast or we're going to attach it to dinner or, you know, whatever it is, whatever thing that you're, you know, doing on a regular basis, ours is attached to dinner as well. And it, it changes. Um, right now, uh, been a little bit chaotic at my house and we've been stretched a little thin. It sometimes gets down to like, I pray before dinner. And then while we're eating, we're listening to the Bible on audio book. And I'm telling my daughter, like, all right, if there's anything in there, you don't understand. And raise your hand and we'll talk about it. And like, it's that simple. And then we sing as we're clearing the table, kind of a thing. It's super trimmed down. Other times it's, it's a lot more robust. It just depends on the situation. My, my girl is in first grade. So she's periodically got memory verses those get worked into family worship, where we're going, all right, everybody's going to be participating in this, you know, memorization of scripture. And so it helps her out. She's studying for school, but also gets worked into family worship. So it just depends. You can, you can kind of play around with things and try different stuff out.

So it just depends. You can, you can kind of play around with things and try different stuff out. But I think having like a written out, like, whether it's additional materials that you're using, like Ethan mentioned, or writing out your own short, like basically liturgy that you're going to work through. So you don't like, you're not just like making stuff up on the fly every day is really helpful. I like creeds. I like confessions. I like Gibson has a bunch of these books, but there's one for Advent. There's one for Easter. There's one for like normal. And it's much more liturgical like a covenant renewal worship service where there is all the elements of call to worship and confession of sin, assurance of pardon, and reading the law. And, you know, all of those elements are, you know, benediction and a song. And all those elements are in there. They're a little bit lengthier. But for attention. year old. I like them a lot. They bring in a lot of old, you know, Puritan reformed documents and things like that. So I think they're really, really good and helpful. But the easier you can make it on yourself and the better you can tie it to something else that's repeatable. I think the more success you'll have. I think the last thing I'll say is it's like anything else. If you are excited about it and if you're joyful about it and it and it's something you want to do, that'll make it more enjoyable for everybody else. If it's like, all right, I guess, I guess we'll do family worship or, you know, it's up to you. If you skip it five nights in a row, it's like, obviously this is not very important.

I don't know how long I've been doing this, but I, before dinner, I actually ask my kids to pray for the meal. I mean, you've eaten enough dinners in my house. And I have them follow the acts model, so adoration, contrition, Thanksgiving, and supplication in their prayer before dinner. So my thought behind that is like, yes, dad is supposed. like probably the one's supposed to be saying grace, but this is one way, especially when we have visitors that they can practice praying in public or semi-public, and they're not just praying like, God, thank you for this food, amen. They're thinking through, how do we praise God? What sins do I need to confess? What am I thankful for? And then you're saying, bless the food. And so I think that that's one thing that we found to be pretty beneficial for their ability to say good prayers and not being afraid to pray in front of. of other people. Yeah, it's really good. All right, moving on to the next one. This is from one of our Patreon guys. And it's one that we did want to address. And it's connected to a couple other questions that we got as well. But I think this is probably in relation to the most recent episode we put out, which was basically what is a brutal American? What do we mean by that term? This is in response to that. So he said, how far is too far when becoming a brutal American? essentially what are the pitfalls or paths to a quote unquote toxic brutal American? I have a three-year-old boy who's sewn to swords, guns, wrestling, and fighting,

This is in response to that. So he said, how far is too far when becoming a brutal American? essentially what are the pitfalls or paths to a quote unquote toxic brutal American? I have a three-year-old boy who's sewn to swords, guns, wrestling, and fighting, and I want to channel that correctly without going too intense, if that makes sense. This is one of those ones that I think, this is a sign that like we, even the guys in this camp, are still so pressured by the egalitarian programming in our world that, that we have thoughts like this. And so I don't want to beat up on that guy. It's not the point of at all is not to dog pile on him, but more of like a warning. Like if he's thinking it, then lots of guys are probably thinking the same thing. And I think this has come out of like the the Christian movement of our day has been a bunch of really soft men, to say it bluntly. And the very first thing that we do when any aggressiveness or assertiveness is displayed is go, all right, how far is too far. As soon as we start moving that direction, we go, okay, but where's the other ditch? And I think this is a, it's just simply misordered because we're firmly standing in the ditch that we're already in, which is we're trying to get out of. And before we can move out of it, we start going, all right, but let's not go too far. And right now, genuinely, like, there might not be anyone else in

already in, which is we're trying to get out of. And before we can move out of it, we start going, all right, but let's not go too far. And right now, genuinely, like, there might not be anyone else in your life that will tell you this. I don't think this is a problem for almost anyone currently. No, I mean, part of, part of this is, you know, burning down the HR department, burning down the longhouse, all of that kind of stuff. And so what we don't want to do is try to do it the right way and then say, yeah, but where's our HR department? Like, you know, and so we, we definitely don't want to do that. But, but I guess I think where a three-year-old boy could go wrong. And the question isn't like, what's too brutal American or like, what's too far right or no enemies to the right? Like, that's really not the question. But like, the question is like, what's the standard? What is the standard that we're shooting for? What is a masculine man according to God, according to the Bible? What are the examples we have there that are praised by the Holy Spirit in the Bible? And then, you know, it's not as much of like, what's, you know, where are we at today?

What are the examples we have there that are praised by the Holy Spirit in the Bible? And then, you know, it's not as much of like, what's, you know, where are we at today? where we're trying to get to, but like, we have a different standard that we're looking toward. And so that's the standard that we're evaluating anything that we're doing off of is whether, you know, any of the attributes, any of the aggression, any of the violence, any of the, you know, humor, any of the things is like, I'm still a Christian. I'm first and foremost a Christian. And so I have that standard that I need to evaluate all of my actions by. And right now, my, you know, if I'm sitting here in the feminists, a galitarian ditch, my actions, you know, my actions, you know, you know, it's, it's, what's going to, it's going to be, you've been, you've been weighed and found wanting, right? That's what's going to be said about me. So I need to move, you know, whether it's a left or rate scale or whatever it is. Like, it's not a ditch, a human ditch or a worldly ditch on this side or this side. It's like, where, where does God tell me I need to be right now? Yeah. And I think you can look at scriptural examples of Christ calling people whitewashed tombs in, and, and, you know, John going, who warned you? of the judgment to come. Like, the axe is coming and being laid at the roots. And then Christ going more than once into the temple to flip tables. And, um, our instinct shouldn't always naturally be, was that too

the village idiot. That was the useless guy that no one could find a job for that he was like he had no utilitarian purpose to him at all. He was the nice guy. That guy's super nice. It is actually not a compliment. So to be kind, to be gentle, those are biblical commands. That's a good thing. A man should be those things. You're never commanded to be nice. But also with those kind or gentle, or meek. What's the context? Right. If you are kind toward your enemy, you're in sin. If you are gentle towards somebody that needs to be killed, you are in sin, right? If you are like, meek in the face of, you know, in the face of danger, you don't show violence or you should show violence. Like, you are in sin. So the question is, is really, what is the context? And am I appropriately applying these different fruits of the spirit for the appropriate context? Correct. All right. So in relation to that, there are a couple of other questions that I think related to that, that I think are really good. What would be the best way to encourage your friends to become more brutal American? Some men around me are not interested about going to the range or working out or setting up home defense or just being a man. Jokes aside, I think it's important. And this guy talks about it, but they seem the guys around him, I guess. They seem not to care or they just don't see their role as protector as very important.

Jokes aside, I think it's important. And this guy talks about it, but they seem the guys around him, I guess. They seem not to care or they just don't see their role as protector as very important. So, you know, how do we encourage our friends, the guys around us that we have an impact on to be more of what we would call, you know, embodying the brutal American ethos? I think it's a good question because a lot of what we've talked about in the past has been choosing guys and refining them, but choosing guys who already show the raw gifting, the raw ability, the raw talent, the raw mental fortitude toward that kind of thing. Maybe they need some honing and some, you know, fine points. you know, shaved down, but overall, they, they've got, they've got it, right? Yeah. And so if I'm trying to convince, you know, how I read this is, I've already got a group of friends. I don't know what they do, you know, video games or. No, I mean, I know, I know these, this guy that's like, man, not that this is bad or anything, but like his biggest thing is like how his lawn looks or something or like if his truck is clean or or, you know, it's just like, it's not necessarily these bad things. It's just stuff that, like, actually doesn't make any sort of real difference in the world at all. It's just sort of, like, selfish vanity related stuff. But it comes off as, like, this guy takes care of himself. But when you want them to, like, do something that's actually demanding, they're like, yeah, well, I don't know if I really have time for that.

But it comes off as, like, this guy takes care of himself. But when you want them to, like, do something that's actually demanding, they're like, yeah, well, I don't know if I really have time for that. Can I get a load of mulch in your truck? Like, no, I mean, it's, I just clean. Right. It's just kind of, you, you, I know, I know this archetype of person that you just like, what is it exactly that you care about? It's kind of the facade, I think, where it's like things, things look good, but as soon as anything bad happens or something breaks and you're like, actually, I need you to do something real, the facade breaks down. And there's very little meat underneath there. There's very little anything that is past the skin deep, you know. And I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how you get, I think this is, this is where my Calvinism kicks in. And I'm like, I think that some of this stuff is, the kind of thing only God can do. It's a heart change. There's only one way for a man's convictions to change, and it's, it's for him to be called to something new. And you can't force it. It's not something that can be forced. I think we were talking about this a little bit earlier with even some of our content stuff and where we want to go with this show and everything. And like, giving detailed lessons on how to do stuff is useful, obviously. But it's only useful to someone who already wants that information. And the way that

the kind of thing only God can do. It's a heart change. There's only one way for a man's convictions to change, and it's, it's for him to be called to something new. And you can't force it. It's not something that can be forced. I think we were talking about this a little bit earlier with even some of our content stuff and where we want to go with this show and everything. And like, giving detailed lessons on how to do stuff is useful, obviously. But it's only useful to someone who already wants that information. And the way that that you get someone to want the information is something that you can't really force. It has to be sort of caught. It has to be almost like like the flu. Like you got it from someone. Like you caught it. And it's this thing that you have now. And now you want to go out and find the information on, you know, how do I set up a range day or what should my kit look like or whatever it might be. But I think, I think exemplifying the things that you want to see in these people around you is really important. I think one approach that I've seen work really well here, say we're going to do a Saturday morning workout, and I want other guys to show up. I'll let them know towards the beginning of the week. Hey, we're going to do this. I'm going to be there. Whether any of you show up or not, I'm going to do it. And then I'll remind them again, hey, I don't know who's coming, but hope to see you tomorrow morning. We're doing this. And then if it takes you showing up and doing it alone, maybe that's what it takes a few times.

where were you you? But even like I we had a shoot last night and like I'm driving home. I'm just thinking how grateful I am that I know six other guys that would show up and spend three hours doing this with me. And I'm like, you know, just say thanks. Like, hey, thanks for coming. Like I don't have to say thanks. They didn't do anything for me personally. But I am just grateful that I have these guys. who can do this with me and that are willing that take it seriously and that are bought in. And like, I don't have to like, okay, where were you? You know, like it's just gratitude, I think goes a long way in that as well. Yeah, absolutely. But if you do that and you show up to the gym by yourself for a couple weeks, nobody else shows up. Just find better friends. It's useful. Finding better friends can be quite life changing. Another attached, somewhat adjacent question. What other sources would you recommend for becoming more of a brutal American? Other podcasts, substacks, YouTube channels. This is a good question. I don't know how useful will be in answering it. But it kind of depends on what your particular area of interest is because there's a YouTube channel for literally everything. There's about 400 for everything. That's a good point. So this is, this comes back to like, there's not like a very specific definition of a brutal American. it's more of an archetype.

That's a good point. So this is, this comes back to like, there's not like a very specific definition of a brutal American. it's more of an archetype. A lot of guys fit into the category and some of them are super into bass fishing and other guys are Army Rangers and other guys are pastors and other guys are like you just don't, there's, it takes all kinds. So it depends on what your specific interests are. I think one, for me, one way, I don't listen to podcasts. I read a lot of audiobooks now, but I don't really listen to it. But I did before coming here and I'm at a very mediocre. church and you're like hungry for this kind of stuff. Yeah, I would listen to all kinds of podcasts, right? But now it's just not, no time for it or whatever. Or I'm fed in that way through other means where we have the guild and we have book groups and we have church and like I don't feel like I'm lacking in those areas that you would probably get from a podcast. Yeah. So I think that's part of it is like depending on your situation and context, that that changes. But for me when, especially on like the. substack, YouTube, you know, things like that. It's like, what is the, what is the kind of main interest or main thing that I'm lacking that I'm trying to improve on? Like, you can't do it all at the same time. You can't say, hey, I'm going to go get into guns and get into weightlifting and get into competitions and get into, you know, ultra running and get into golf and get in, like,

Like, you can't do it all at the same time. You can't say, hey, I'm going to go get into guns and get into weightlifting and get into competitions and get into, you know, ultra running and get into golf and get in, like, I mean, you can, you can do that. You can. You can, you can. But one, you know, it's, it's, uh, high, high. barrier to entry in terms of just like cost for all the different things, but also that you end up as Jack of all Tray's master of none, you know, and, and so I think it's good. It's not that you can't, you know, dabble in different things, but like having goals six months or a year, this is going to be my focus. And it doesn't mean you can't play golf at all if you're like going to be a, you know, weightlifter or something. Right. But it's like, this is where I'm spending my time. This is where I'm spending my money. This is where my interest is. And so the research, the podcast, the YouTube channel, the chat GPT searches, like those are going to be dedicated toward this goal that I have of this thing. And then, you know, when I've reached that goal now, I move on to something else. And you still have that and you've retained it. And it becomes another one of your things. But it's not like you're trying to do everything all at once. Yeah. I think that's, that's important. That kind pertains to like specific categories and interests. As far as the overall like embodiment of the ethos that we're talking about, that's like, you know, this Protestant reformed, uh, masculine, patriarchal, aggressive Christian thing that we're doing here that, that is patriotic and

pertains to like specific categories and interests. As far as the overall like embodiment of the ethos that we're talking about, that's like, you know, this Protestant reformed, uh, masculine, patriarchal, aggressive Christian thing that we're doing here that, that is patriotic and loves America and is like, has a bit of like this rugged individualism to it. I don't know. I'm sure there's stuff out there. But part of the reason that we're sort of doing what we're doing is that we think that there's a gap here. And, and we're trying to fill it. Obviously, there's other shows under the new Christenum Press banner that I think embody it in different ways. Kings Hall is the thing that I've listened to the most that has definitely shifted my thinking and convictions probably more than anything else that I've listened to as far as like podcasts or something like that goes. Yeah. I think for men and ladies, men should definitely have their wives listening at Breitth. Yeah. But for men too, like it's super helpful, super practical, very down to earth, very much like anybody in this stage of life can relate to these kinds of things, asking these questions, very relatable, very helpful. that's a great one. I don't know, how, how, how brutal American is Honest Cosmos? I don't know. I just got a jab, Ben. I can't help it.